Ask Me Without Shame, Your Voice, Unfiltered October 2025 Edition

1. From Ramesh (Hyderabad)

Question: I am 24M, and I feel I am finishing too quickly during sex with my girlfriend. She doesn’t say anything, but I am feeling very insecure. What to do?

Published: October 2, 2025, 09:15 AM

This is a very common concern known as premature ejaculation (PE). It’s often caused by anxiety, stress, or new relationship excitement. Don’t feel insecure; open communication with your partner can actually reduce the pressure. Medically, simple behavioural techniques like the ‘stop-start’ method or ‘squeeze’ technique can be very effective. If it continues to cause distress, a medical expert can offer specific advice, as there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

2. From Sirisha (Vizag)

Question: I am in love with a boy from another caste. My parents are very strict and will never agree. I am 22 and I am scared to even tell them.

Published: October 3, 2025, 02:30 PM

This is a very difficult and emotional situation, and your fear is understandable given the social pressures. Firstly, ensure you and your partner are both serious and committed to facing these challenges together. Rushing into a confrontation with your parents might not be the best first step. Try to find a relative or family friend who is more progressive and understands you, who could slowly introduce the idea. Building your own financial independence is also crucial, as it gives you more standing and options.

3. From Kiran (Guntur)

Question: I am 19 and I masturbate almost daily. My friends say it will cause weakness and pimples and I won’t be able to have children. Is this true?

Published: October 5, 2025, 11:00 AM

This is one of the most common myths. Medically, masturbation is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality for both men and women. It does not cause weakness, pimples, infertility, or any of the other issues your friends mentioned. These are just old myths with no scientific basis. Pimples are caused by hormones and skin bacteria, and weakness is usually related to diet or sleep. Please do not feel guilty or worried about this.

4. From Anvitha (Bangalore, from Telangana)

Question: I am 28F, married for one year. I have never felt an orgasm. My husband is nice, but I feel like I am faking it always. Is something wrong with me?

Published: October 8, 2025, 07:45 PM

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. This is incredibly common for many women. A woman’s orgasm is often not achieved through penetration alone; it frequently requires direct clitoral stimulation, which many couples are not aware of. It also involves being relaxed, comfortable, and free from anxiety. We recommend open, gentle communication with your husband about what feels good. Exploring your own body to understand what you like can also be very empowering.

5. From Praveen (Karimnagar)

Question: My parents are forcing me to get married. I am 29 and just got a good job, but they are showing photos every week. I feel so much pressure.

Published: October 11, 2025, 12:10 PM

This pressure is a significant source of stress for many. It’s important to have a calm, firm, and respectful conversation with your parents. Don’t just say “no,” but explain your perspective. Tell them you value their concern but need some time to settle into your new job and that you want to be mentally and financially prepared for marriage. Reassure them that you will get married, but on your own timeline. Setting a realistic future timeframe (e.g., “Let’s discuss this seriously in one year”) might help ease their immediate pressure.

6. From Lakshmi (Vijayawada)

Question: I am a married woman. I am having an emotional affair with my colleague. We just text all day. I feel very guilty but also I cannot stop.

Published: October 12, 2025, 10:50 PM

The guilt you feel shows you are aware of the conflict. An emotional affair often starts because a person feels unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected in their primary relationship. This connection with your colleague is filling that gap. It’s a slippery slope that can deeply damage your marriage. You need to honestly assess what is missing in your marriage and whether you want to fix it. Setting clear boundaries with your colleague is the first step. It may be helpful to seek therapy to understand your feelings and decide on a path forward.

7. From Sai (USA, from Hyderabad)

Question: I moved to the US for my MS. I am 23M and feeling very lonely and depressed. I have no friends here and the studies are very hard. I cry sometimes.

Published: October 15, 2025, 08:00 AM

What you are experiencing is very common; it’s called culture shock mixed with intense academic pressure. Please know you are not alone in this. The feeling of isolation is temporary. Most universities have free student counseling services. Please use them immediately; they are confidential and designed to help students just like you. Try to join one student club, even if you don’t feel like it. Just being around others can help. Also, schedule regular video calls with family back home. It will get better.

8. From Deepthi (UK, from Vizag)

Question: My boyfriend in London is checking my phone and location always. He says it is because he loves me, but I feel suffocated. Is this normal love?

Published: October 20, 2025, 05:20 PM

This is not normal or healthy love; this is controlling behaviour. Love is built on trust, and his actions show a deep lack of it. Constantly monitoring your phone, your location, and who you talk to is a major red flag. This behaviour is about power and control, not care or protection. It can often escalate. You need to set a firm boundary that your privacy is non-negotiable. If he cannot respect that, you should seriously reconsider the safety and future of this relationship.

9. From Arjun (Hyderabad)

Question: I am 21M. I am attracted to other men, not women. My family is very traditional. I am very scared and feel I am a disappointment.

Published: October 24, 2025, 01:30 PM

Feeling scared is a completely valid response given the social context. Please hear this: Your feelings are natural, and you are not a disappointment. You are simply discovering who you are. This is not a choice, a phase, or a disease; it is a part of your identity. Your immediate safety is the priority, so please do not feel pressured to “come out” to anyone until you are safe and independent. There are many online communities and support groups for LGBTQ+ individuals from India where you can find support and know you are not alone.

10. From Kavya (Gulf, from Godavari)

Question: I am 32F, married for 5 years, living in Dubai. We have no kids. My mother-in-law calls every day and asks “good news.” I am feeling like a failure.

Published: October 28, 2025, 11:15 AM

The pressure to conceive, especially from family, is immense and deeply painful. You are not a failure. Infertility is a medical condition, not a personal failing, and it affects many couples. It can be caused by factors in the male partner, the female partner, or both. The stress from this pressure can actually make things harder. Your first step should be to and your husband to support each other and present a united front to your family. It is your and your husband’s private journey. Consider seeking a medical consultation to get clear facts about your options.

11. From Divya (Hyderabad)

Question: I am 26F and have PCOS. My periods are very irregular and I have bad acne on my face. My aunties are telling me I will have problems getting married.

Published: October 2, 2025, 04:10 PM

Please do not listen to such negative comments. PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) is an extremely common hormonal condition affecting many women. It is not a personal fault, and it is manageable. The irregular periods and acne are direct symptoms, but they can be managed effectively with lifestyle changes, such as a healthy diet, regular exercise, and stress reduction. Many women with PCOS get married and have children. A medical expert can provide a clear treatment plan for your symptoms and reassure you.

12. From Anand (Vijayawada)

Question: I am 35M, married. My wife is very good, but I am in a secret relationship with another woman at my office. I know it’s wrong, but I feel I am in love with her.

Published: October 4, 2025, 10:20 AM

This is a very complicated and risky situation. The excitement of a secret relationship can often be mistaken for “love,” while it may actually be an escape from routine or unresolved issues in your marriage. You are at a crossroads where you have to make a choice. Continuing this path will likely lead to discovery, causing immense pain to your wife and destroying the trust in your family. You need to be honest with yourself about what you truly want and be prepared for the consequences. Seeking confidential personal counseling can help you clarify your feelings before you make an irreversible decision.

13. From Shanti (Rural Andhra Pradesh)

Question: My husband gets very angry if I say no to sex, even when I am tired or sick. He says it is my duty. Does a wife not have the right to say no?

Published: October 6, 2025, 08:50 PM

Yes, you absolutely have the right to say no. A wife’s “duty” never includes being forced to do something she does not want to do. Sex without your full consent, even within a marriage, is non-consensual and harmful. This is a matter of your personal safety and rights. Your body is your own, and “no” must be respected, regardless of your relationship. If you feel unsafe, please try to confide in a trusted family member or a local support organization.

14. From Rohan (USA, from Hyderabad)

Question: I am 29M. I watch porn 2-3 times a day. When I am with my girlfriend, I am having trouble getting an erection. Is the porn spoiling my brain?

Published: October 9, 2025, 01:00 AM

This is a situation many men face. While porn itself isn’t inherently “spoiling” your brain, excessive use can create unrealistic expectations and desensitize you to real-life intimacy. Your brain may become conditioned to the specific, high-intensity novelty of online videos, making a real, emotional, and physical connection seem less stimulating. This can lead to performance anxiety and erectile difficulties. The good news is this is often reversible. We suggest taking a complete break from pornography for a few weeks (a “reboot”) and focusing on genuine connection, foreplay, and intimacy with your girlfriend.

15. From Priya (Chennai, from Telangana)

Question: My boyfriend of 3 years suddenly broke up with me over text. I am not able to eat or sleep. I feel my life is over. How to move on?

Published: October 11, 2025, 06:15 PM

This is a deeply painful experience, and your feelings are completely valid. Breakup trauma is real. First, please understand that your life is not over, even though it feels that way right now. The way he ended it (over text) shows a lack of respect, and you deserve better. Allow yourself to cry and feel the pain; don’t suppress it. Talk to your closest friends or family, anyone who will just listen. Block him on social media to avoid the pain of seeing his updates. Focus on one small thing at a time: take a shower, eat one small meal. Be very kind to yourself. This pain will not last forever.

16. From Karthik (Guntur)

Question: I am 22M. I am in love with a girl in my college, but I am too scared to talk to her. I am not handsome and I am from a small village.

Published: October 14, 2025, 03:30 PM

This is a classic case of one-sided love and insecurity. Many people feel this way. Remember, confidence is more attractive than just physical looks. She is just a person, like you. Instead of worrying about a big “love proposal,” just try to be a friend. Start with simple, low-pressure things. Ask a question about a class, or compliment her work on a project. The goal is just to have a normal conversation. Your background does not define your worth. Be polite, be yourself, and be a good friend. The rest will follow.

17. From Fatima (Hyderabad)

Question: I am 25F, and I have a lot of facial hair and my skin is dark. My family always compares me to my fair-skinned cousin. I have zero confidence.

Published: October 17, 2025, 09:00 AM

This is heartbreaking to hear, and this constant comparison is a form of emotional abuse. Your value is not determined by your skin tone or the amount of facial hair you have. The facial hair (hirsutism) can often be a symptom of a hormonal imbalance like PCOS, which is medically treatable. Please see a medical expert to get it checked. Regarding your skin tone, it is beautiful. The obsession with “fairness” is a damaging social prejudice. Please try to focus on your strengths—your education, your kindness, your skills. Your confidence will grow when you start appreciating yourself, rather than believing their toxic words.

18. From Naveen (Australia, from Telangana)

Question: My wife and I (both 30) moved to Sydney. We both work hard. Our sex life is zero. We are fighting all the time about small things. What is wrong?

Published: October 21, 2025, 08:15 PM

This is very common for couples who have recently immigrated. You are both under immense stress: new jobs, new culture, financial pressures, and no local family support. When stress levels are high, libido (sex drive) is the first thing to go. The small fights are likely not about the “small things,” but about this underlying stress and a feeling of disconnection. You are probably acting more like stressed-out roommates than a couple. You must schedule time for yourselves. Plan a “date night,” even if it’s just a walk in the park. Talk about your feelings, not just the household problems. Re-establishing emotional intimacy is the first step to regaining physical intimacy.

19. From Swetha (Vijayawada)

Question: I am 20F. My father drinks and beats my mother. He has never touched me, but I am terrified. My mother says to be quiet for family honor.

Published: October 26, 2025, 11:40 AM

You are in a very dangerous and scary situation. What your mother is saying comes from a place of fear and social conditioning, but “family honor” is never more important than her safety and your safety. Witnessing this abuse is also deeply traumatic for you. This is domestic violence, and it is a crime. Please, if you have a trusted teacher, professor, or close relative you can confide in, do so. There are women’s helplines and police support (like the DISHA initiative in AP) that are designed to help in these exact situations. Your mother’s safety is the priority.

20. From Anil (Secunderabad)

Question: I am 31M. I have been dating a 35F who is divorced and has one child. I really like her, but my family will go crazy if I tell them.

Published: October 29, 2025, 04:55 PM

This situation is about your happiness versus your family’s expectations. It’s understandable that your family will have a strong reaction due to traditional mindsets. Before you talk to them, you need to be 100% clear with yourself. Is this relationship what you truly want for the long term? Are you prepared to be a partner and a stepparent? If yes, then you must be prepared to stand up for your choice. When you do tell your family, do it calmly. Don’t ask for permission, but inform them of your decision. Focus on her qualities as a person and your happiness, not just her “status” as a divorcée.

21. From Gopi (Gulf Country)

Question: I am 30M working here, married back home. My wife is very traditional and never touches me first. I feel very rejected sexually. How can I bring up what I need without hurting her feelings?

Published: October 1, 2025, 05:45 AM

Feeling sexually rejected in marriage is tough, especially when cultural differences in initiation exist. The key is to shift the conversation away from performance or blame and toward mutual exploration. Instead of saying, “You never touch me,” try framing it around shared pleasure, like, “I was reading about ways we can make our time together even more amazing.” Focus on non-sexual touch first—holding hands, longer hugs—to build closeness. If you feel comfortable, bring up a topic gently, perhaps suggesting new ways to explore closeness that you both can agree on when you next speak.

22. From Vimala (Hyderabad)

Question: I have severe anxiety, especially when I have to speak in front of people for office presentations. My heart pounds so hard I think I will faint. Can this be treated?

Published: October 3, 2025, 06:00 PM

Yes, what you are describing sounds like social anxiety disorder or performance anxiety, and it is very treatable. It is a recognized mental health condition, not a character flaw. The physical symptoms—pounding heart, fear of fainting—are your body’s alarm system going off unnecessarily. A medical expert can certainly help. Treatment usually involves cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to restructure those anxious thoughts, and sometimes short-term medication to manage acute physical symptoms before a big event. Start by practicing breathing exercises to calm your system down before you need to speak.

23. From Suresh (USA, NRI)

Question: My in-laws are constantly calling and telling my wife that I am wasting money on my career development programs here. She gets stressed and fights with me. I feel unsupported.

Published: October 5, 2025, 09:30 AM

The triangulation between your in-laws, your wife, and you is causing severe marital strain. You need to address this as a united front with your wife first. Explain that you understand her position, but their interference is undermining your efforts to secure your family’s future. You and your wife must agree on boundaries regarding what you share with your parents back home. Empower your wife to handle calls from her parents regarding your finances, explaining that you are managing it securely. You are partners; you must support each other against external pressure.

24. From Keerthi (Telangana)

Question: I am 24F, engaged. I recently found out my fiancé was secretly chatting with ex-girlfriends, though he claims it was innocent. Should I trust him again?

Published: October 7, 2025, 02:15 PM

This is a serious breach of trust right before marriage. The fact that he was secretly chatting suggests he knew it was wrong or would upset you, which is the primary issue, more so than the content of the chats. You need to have a very serious, calm conversation. Ask him why he felt the need for secrecy. Trust is the foundation of marriage, and it takes time and consistent proof to rebuild. If he is truly remorseful, he must cut all contact and be 100% transparent moving forward. If you have persistent doubts, it’s better to address them now than after the wedding.

25. From Madhavi (Visakhapatnam)

Question: I am 40F. After my second child, my body changed a lot and I feel very unattractive. My husband hardly looks at me now. What should I do about body shaming myself?

Published: October 10, 2025, 11:05 AM

It’s painful to feel unseen by the person closest to you, especially when you are already being hard on yourself. Remember that a woman’s body after carrying and birthing children is strong and beautiful in a new way. Focus on feeling good rather than just looking a certain way. Reintroduce an activity that makes you feel powerful—whether it’s a new fitness routine, learning something new, or wearing clothes that fit your current shape well. Open a kind dialogue with your husband about feeling disconnected, focusing on your feelings rather than accusing him.

26. From Rajesh (Dubai)

Question: I am having terrible trouble getting an erection when my wife is around, but I can easily get one watching videos alone. I am terrified of telling her.

Published: October 13, 2025, 04:00 PM

This is a classic presentation of performance anxiety, often linked to relationship stress or fear of judgment. Since you can achieve an erection privately, the issue isn’t physical impotence but psychological pressure in the moment with your wife. You need to relieve the pressure to “perform.” Explain to your wife that you love being intimate but you’ve been feeling nervous lately and would like to take a break from penetration for a while. Focus instead on non-demanding physical intimacy—massage, kissing, oral pleasure—where there is no expectation of a full erection. This takes the pressure off and allows intimacy to return naturally.

27. From Geetha (Andhra Pradesh)

Question: I think my husband is cheating. He is suddenly very secretive with his phone and working very late, which he never used to do. I don’t want to fight, but I cannot stop worrying.

Published: October 16, 2025, 10:00 AM

The sudden change in behaviour and secrecy is certainly cause for concern and anxiety. You have every right to address this. Instead of accusing him directly, which can lead to immediate defensiveness, try to focus on the impact of his absence on you. Approach him when things are calm and say something like, “I notice you’ve been working late and guarding your phone. This is making me feel insecure and lonely in our marriage. Can we talk about what’s happening?” A willingness to communicate is key. If he stonewalls you, you may need to consider deeper steps later.

28. From Sunil (UK)

Question: I am 28M. My partner is lesbian, but she is afraid to tell her conservative family back in India. I feel like I am living in secret forever.

Published: October 18, 2025, 08:30 PM

This puts you in a very difficult, emotionally taxing position. You are legally and emotionally tied to her, but socially invisible. You both need to have a long, honest discussion about the timeline and plan for her coming out. Living in secret forever is emotionally unsustainable for a committed partnership. Discuss what you need to feel secure in this relationship. Can you present as friends publicly in the UK? What steps is she taking to build courage for the conversation with her family? If there is no plan, the relationship will suffer from this indefinite secrecy.

29. From Bhargavi (Telangana)

Question: My periods are so painful every month that I have to take a day off work, but my boss says I am exaggerating. Is severe period pain normal?

Published: October 20, 2025, 12:00 PM

No, excruciatingly painful periods (severe dysmenorrhea) are not normal, and you should not have to suffer silently, especially at work. While mild cramping is common, pain that stops you from your daily life needs medical investigation. This level of pain can sometimes be linked to conditions like endometriosis or severe fibroids, which a medical expert can diagnose. Keep a detailed log of the pain severity, duration, and any medication you take. This documentation will be very helpful for any medical discussion and can also support you in having a factual conversation with your employer about necessary accommodations.

30. From Venkatesh (Andhra Pradesh)

Question: My sibling is better than me in every way—studies, job, looks. My parents only talk about their achievements. I feel like I have no worth of my own.

Published: October 22, 2025, 07:20 PM

Feeling overshadowed by a sibling is a very common and isolating experience, especially in cultures that prize external success. This is about your parents’ behaviour, not your actual worth. You need to consciously detach your self-worth from their comparison. Start identifying three things—no matter how small—that you are good at or enjoy doing that your sibling doesn’t do. Maybe you’re a better cook, a kinder friend, or you enjoy a specific hobby. Invest time there. Seek external validation from friends or mentors who see you for who you are, not just in relation to your sibling.

31. From Lavanya (USA)

Question: I have been dating my partner for two years. He is great, but he never talks about marriage or the future, even though I ask. I am 28, should I just leave him?

Published: October 24, 2025, 09:45 AM

If you are at an age where marriage is a firm goal, then you need clarity. His avoidance of the topic is a clear communication in itself. You need to move past asking gentle questions to having a serious, ultimatum-free discussion about your respective futures. Clearly state: “I value our relationship, but for me, marriage is an important next step. Where do you genuinely see us in the next year? If that timeline doesn’t align with yours, we need to discuss if we should continue.” If he still deflects or gives vague answers, then yes, you must consider leaving to find someone whose timeline matches yours.

32. From Srinivas (Telangana)

Question: I am 45M. I am struggling with erectile dysfunction lately. I am scared I am getting old, and I don’t want my wife to know I am having this issue.

Published: October 25, 2025, 11:30 AM

It’s understandable that you’re feeling worried, but please know that erectile dysfunction (ED) is extremely common, especially as men age, and it is often manageable. It is rarely just about getting “old.” ED can be an early warning sign for underlying health issues like high blood pressure or diabetes, so ignoring it is not the best approach. The stress of hiding it from your wife often makes the problem worse due to performance anxiety. We strongly advise seeing a medical expert. They can run simple tests, offer treatments, and give you peace of mind that this is a medical issue you can address.

33. From Chitra (Europe)

Question: I have a massive crush on my married boss. I know I shouldn’t, but I feel like he sees me differently than others. What is this feeling?

Published: October 27, 2025, 03:50 PM

This feeling is often a mixture of admiration for his power/success (known as transference) and the exciting drama of a forbidden crush. When someone in authority shows you special attention, it can feel intense. However, pursuing this will almost certainly lead to professional disaster, and heartbreak, as he is unavailable. The best way to handle this is to mentally draw a strict boundary. Channel that energy into your professional goals instead. If the crush becomes too overwhelming to manage professionally, request a temporary shift in reporting structure if possible.

34. From Raju (Andhra Pradesh)

Question: My wife’s parents are demanding a very large dowry even though we are well-off. They threaten to call off the wedding. I love my fiancée, but I hate this pressure.

Published: October 28, 2025, 05:10 PM

This illegal and morally wrong practice of demanding dowry must be confronted firmly. You need to decide together—you and your fiancée—what is the absolute limit of pressure you will absorb. If this is about extortion, you must protect yourselves. Inform your fiancée immediately and discuss a plan. You must be prepared to walk away from the wedding if they do not stop. Your character and your peace of mind are worth more than succumbing to illegal pressure. Seek advice from a lawyer or a trusted elder who opposes dowry.

35. From Sandhya (Telangana)

Question: I am 21F, and I feel depressed often. I compare myself to movie stars and feel my normal body is disgusting. I cry about it most nights.

Published: October 30, 2025, 08:00 PM

It’s agonizing to battle negative self-talk every day, and your feelings are real. The constant exposure to perfectly curated, often digitally altered images of celebrities creates an unrealistic standard that no real human body can meet. This fuels body dissatisfaction and depression. You must actively reduce your intake of media that makes you feel bad. Focus your energy inward: what can you do with your body today? Walk, cook, study. Also, please reach out to a mental health resource or counselor; they are trained to help you reframe these powerful negative comparisons and build genuine self-acceptance.

36. From Sravani (Vijayawada)

Question: I am 22F. I feel intense pressure to be a virgin for marriage, but I am in a serious relationship and have been physically intimate. I feel like I have already ruined my life.

Published: October 1, 2025, 01:10 PM

Please discard the idea that you have “ruined your life.” The concept of “purity” tied to virginity is a deeply entrenched social construct, not a measure of your worth, morality, or ability to have a happy future. What truly defines your readiness for marriage is honesty, mutual respect, commitment, and maturity, all of which you are demonstrating by being in a serious relationship. The most important thing is transparency and trust with your partner. Focus on the value you bring to a relationship, not outdated physical measures.

37. From Vijay (USA, NRI)

Question: I am 32M. My wife and I have a great professional life, but we feel awkward talking about sex or trying anything new. Our intimacy is very boring now.

Published: October 4, 2025, 07:00 AM

It’s common for the early excitement to fade, especially when stress from NRI life is high. Feeling awkward about sex talk often stems from cultural conditioning. Intimacy deepens when you communicate. Start with non-sexual communication about your feelings for each other. Then, gently introduce the idea of spicing things up, perhaps by reading a book together or watching a documentary on relationship intimacy, which acts as a neutral third party. Suggest a “date night” where talking about desires, without any pressure to act on them, is the only goal.

38. From Harish (Hyderabad)

Question: I think my girlfriend is suffering from depression. She cries all the time, has no energy, and avoids seeing friends. How can I help her without being too pushy?

Published: October 6, 2025, 11:45 AM

It is commendable that you are trying to help. Your observation—constant crying, low energy, and social withdrawal—are clear signs of a potential depressive episode. The best way to help is to provide non-judgmental support. Avoid saying, “Just cheer up.” Instead, say, “I see you are struggling, and I am here for you.” Gently encourage her to seek professional help. Offer to research local therapists or mental health centers and even offer to go with her for the first visit. Depression is a medical condition, and professional help is necessary for recovery.

39. From Akhila (Rural Telangana)

Question: I am 18F. My family is pushing me to marry a relative to settle some old family debt. I don’t want to marry him. I feel trapped.

Published: October 9, 2025, 03:20 PM

This is a case of forced marriage and is deeply concerning. You have the absolute right to choose your life partner, and a family debt is not a valid reason to sacrifice your future. If you are 18, you are an adult under law. You must immediately seek help from a trusted, educated relative, a local teacher, or a social worker. If you feel physically threatened or forced, you should contact the police or a women’s protection cell. Your safety and autonomy are paramount; do not agree out of fear.

40. From Karthika (Secunderabad)

Question: I was in a long-distance relationship for 5 years. Now we are finally living in the same city, but we are always fighting and the connection is gone.

Published: October 12, 2025, 09:10 PM

Long-distance relationships thrive on highly curated, often idealized communication (calls, texts), while cohabitation requires dealing with mundane realities, stress, and routine. The person you spoke to on the phone is now a real person with messy habits, and the friction is normal. You need to transition from “long-distance lovers” to “real-life partners.” Focus on building a shared life and new routines that prioritize connection. Couples counseling is highly recommended here, as it provides a neutral space to address the conflict and rebuild genuine, everyday intimacy.

41. From Subhash (Vishakapatnam)

Question: I am 27M. I feel extremely shy about my body size. I am quite thin, and I am scared my future wife will judge me. Should I hide this before marriage?

Published: October 15, 2025, 06:30 AM

You should never hide your body or feel shame about your natural build. Everyone faces body image issues, and yours is a common insecurity for men. The right partner for you will be someone who appreciates you entirely, not just your physique. Trying to hide this creates unnecessary anxiety. If you are serious about someone, you should work towards accepting yourself first. If you genuinely want to build muscle for your health, that’s great, but do it for yourself. Look for a partner who values kindness and personality over superficial physical standards.

42. From Ramya (Australia, NRI)

Question: I am 33F, a new immigrant. My husband controls all the money and gives me a small allowance. I feel dependent and powerless.

Published: October 17, 2025, 01:50 PM

This is a serious issue called financial abuse, even if he provides for the family. Economic control is a common form of domestic abuse that creates dependency. You are a partner, not a child receiving an allowance. Since you are in Australia, you have legal rights and resources. Start taking steps to build your own financial independence: open a separate bank account, find employment (even part-time), and keep copies of your essential documents. Confidential financial and legal advice is available in your region; please seek it out.

43. From Teja (Guntur)

Question: I am 20M. I have intense performance anxiety about my looks before a first date. I worry constantly about what she will think of my height and clothes.

Published: October 19, 2025, 10:40 AM

Your anxiety is fixated on external factors that you cannot change easily. Remember that a first date is about getting to know your personality and kindness, not a modeling audition. Focus your energy on what you can control: your hygiene, your manners, and being an attentive listener. Wear clean clothes that fit well and make you feel confident. Most women are looking for a connection and respect. Focus on asking good questions and showing genuine interest in her; that confidence and warmth will easily outweigh any insecurity about your height.

44. From Usha (Europe)

Question: I am 29F. I had an abortion last year, and I have never told my husband. The guilt is eating me alive, but I fear his reaction will destroy our marriage.

Published: October 21, 2025, 04:30 PM

This is a heavy and secret burden to carry alone. The guilt you feel is intensified by the secrecy. While the risk of a fallout is real, carrying a secret of this magnitude will continue to erode your relationship from the inside. We recommend that before telling him, you first seek counseling for yourself. A mental health professional can help you process your emotions and prepare you for a calm, measured conversation. When you do speak, focus on your feelings, the difficult circumstances at the time, and the deep guilt you have felt since.

45. From Rakesh (Hyderabad)

Question: I am 31M. I keep having sexual fantasies about a relative I grew up with. I feel disgusting and perverted, and I am trying to stop it.

Published: October 23, 2025, 02:00 PM

The fact that you are feeling “disgusting” shows you are aware that acting on these fantasies is completely inappropriate and potentially harmful. Fantasies themselves are not actions. The brain is a complex machine, and intrusive thoughts or forbidden fantasies, especially about people who are close to you, are common. The key is to manage the thought, not act on it. Do not berate yourself for the thought. When the fantasy arises, immediately redirect your mind to something else (e.g., intense exercise, work, a hobby). If this obsession is causing significant distress, a mental health expert can offer cognitive-behavioral techniques to manage intrusive thoughts.

46. From Vasu (Karimnagar)

Question: My parents constantly fight about money, and I am the only one who has a job. They expect me to pay all their debts. I feel like I am drowning financially.

Published: October 26, 2025, 07:45 AM

This is a heavy burden of filial piety mixed with financial strain. While it is your duty to care for your parents, it is not your responsibility to sacrifice your own future entirely for their past debts. You need to draw a financial boundary. Have a transparent conversation with your parents: show them your income, your necessary expenses, and the maximum amount you can realistically contribute. Insist on creating a sustainable budget together, not just paying off every debt. You must save for your own future; you are not their endless supply of money.

47. From Neha (Mumbai, from AP)

Question: I am 25F. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship, but he is always subtly putting me down—about my cooking, my job, my friends. Is this abuse?

Published: October 27, 2025, 11:10 PM

Yes, this is a form of emotional abuse known as subtle degradation or gaslighting, and it is corrosive to your self-esteem. He is systematically undermining your confidence to make you feel dependent on him or to exert control. A partner should uplift you, not constantly criticize and make you feel small. If he genuinely loved and respected you, he would not treat you this way. This behaviour rarely gets better without professional intervention and is a major red flag that you should take seriously.

48. From Balaji (Australia)

Question: My wife and I agreed to have an open marriage (non-monogamy) when we moved here, but now she has a boyfriend, and I feel jealous and regret our decision.

Published: October 28, 2025, 03:00 PM

The pain of jealousy is completely normal, even in ethically non-monogamous relationships, which are much harder than people assume. Your agreement was made in a specific context (new country, high stress), and it’s okay to revisit it. You need to communicate your feelings immediately and honestly. You must ask for a pause on the external relationship while you and your wife discuss your feelings of regret, jealousy, and insecurity. A mutual agreement can be renegotiated if it is causing distress to one partner.

49. From Shobha (Europe, NRI)

Question: I am 36F. I have no friends in my new country. I go to work and come home, and I feel so incredibly lonely. My family is far away.

Published: October 29, 2025, 08:45 AM

Chronic loneliness in a new country is a widespread issue for NRIs, often called “social isolation.” You are missing your natural social network. You need to deliberately and actively build a new one. Start small: find a local cultural organization or a club based on a hobby you love (reading, hiking, cooking). Even volunteering for a few hours can help you meet people with similar values. Also, schedule regular, pre-planned video calls with your close friends back home, rather than just spontaneous calls, to ensure you maintain those ties.

50. From Siva (Hyderabad)

Question: My parents are constantly mocking my gender expression because I wear some clothes they see as “feminine.” I feel stressed out and judged every time I go home.

Published: October 30, 2025, 04:00 PM

The judgment and mocking you are experiencing is painful and harmful. Your gender expression—the way you choose to dress and present yourself—is a form of personal identity, and it is yours alone. Their reaction stems from their cultural limitations and fear of social judgment, not from any fault of yours. For your mental health, you need to create emotional distance when at home. If possible, limit the time you spend there, and politely, but firmly, change the subject when the mockery begins. Seek support from friends who validate your identity; their affirmation is crucial.

Disclaimer: This content is intended solely for informational purposes and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical consultation. Readers are strongly advised to seek guidance from a licensed healthcare provider for any personal health concerns. The responses provided are based on general medical understanding and do not account for individual medical histories or conditions. We do not assume responsibility or liability for any outcomes resulting from the use of this information.